I’m not a cook. I can put a few things together, but I don’t have a substantial bag of tricks to pull from. If a recipe involves more than baking meat at 350 degrees or cooking vegetables on the stove top, I’m pretty much lost. I’m not an adventurous eater, so I’m not an adventurous cook by default. As with most newbie cooks, chicken is my usual default. I probably bake chicken more than your average person should.
Remember that scene from Little Miss Sunshine where the grandfather goes on a tirade about eating chicken for dinner AGAIN? Well, that’s pretty much how my husband was feeling. (Oh, and if you do click on the link, there is cursing in it--you've been warned.) He, bless his heart, wasn’t as dramatic as that. But, he did ask that I at least fry the chicken if we absolutely had to have it.
I’ve gotten better about eating large masses of fried foods since being married (since my husband typically prefers his food baked), so I was skeptical about having fried chicken for dinner. I don’t do this often, but I made two different things. I decided to fry his and bake mine.
After cleaning and frying the chicken, I put half the pack in our crock pot. It’s super hot here and I wasn’t about to turn on the oven. I returned to the crock pot 5 minutes later, and it still wasn’t hot. Was it because it was on low? I turned it up. Ten minutes later, still nothing. Maybe the socket is acting up. I moved it around.
I went back to surfing the net and realized I still didn’t smell any chicken aromas yet. Seriously; it’s a slow cooker, but come on! I yanked out the plug and shook it in frustration. That’s when I realized I’d been plugging up the toaster oven all along.
Monday, June 28, 2010
Thursday, June 17, 2010
Another Minority Fail
By no means is it my intent to sound racist with what I'm about to say. Here's my question: who best can talk about a race than a member of that race? No one, I think. So, I'm going to sit on that logic and ride it for a few moments. I love greetings cards. I've even applied for jobs at greeting card companies several times (ahem-American Greetings-thanks for nothing) . My absolute two favorite types of cards are romantic cards and humorous cards. What can I say? I am an equal fan of love and laughter.
Several times, when trying to pick out a funny card, I've chosen a card featuring the characters Hoops and Yoyo. If you don't know them or what they are, I really can't help you. One of the characters is pink, and the other is green. They are either bunnies, cats, wallabies. Wallabies may sound like a stretch, but they do sort of look like they could have come from an episode of Rocko's Modern Life (remember that Nickelodeon cartoon that was out in the 90s?).
Whatever they are, Hoops and Yoyo are featured on many hilarious Hallmark cards. They sing. They ramble. They are awesome. They're racist. That last one isn't according to me. That descriptor is courtesy of the good old NAACP. I stumbled upon this article where NAACP members have demanded Hallmark to recall the card. Much to my chagrin, Hallmark did. It's one thing to be racist, but to be accused of racism and it not be true is a whole different pill to swallow. The elder ears of the NAACP claim that Hoops and Yoyo warn the reader to beware of "ominous black whores."
Do you not see the masses of African American booty cheeks and scantily clad women in come-hither poses sprawled across the front of the card? NO? Keep looking. Still don't see it? Good, because IT'S NOT THERE! What is there and what is heard is language describing the world. (Gasp!) Could Hoops and Yoyo really be saying "black holes?" That would make too much sense in a graduation card advising recent graduates about the perils of the world.
Come on! Maybe if the NAACP members didn't look like they had what I would like to call possibly tainted elder hearing, maybe I'd be less irritated. Am I saying that all elderly people have hearing problems? No. Heaven forbid someone from the NAACP happen to read my unknown blog and hit me with a racist/ageist combo. But you'll never know, especially since it looks like they have nothing better to do.
The NAACP wants an apology. They owe Hallmark an apology! Can we actually have real racist grievances? All I'm saying is this: My fellow African-Americans, no one is going to believe us if we constantly cry wolf.
We all know how well that ended up for that poor kid. What was the moral of that story? Keep playing around like an ass, and your ass will get eaten. Personally, I'm not one for being digested. That course of action always ends with a load of (well...you know).
Several times, when trying to pick out a funny card, I've chosen a card featuring the characters Hoops and Yoyo. If you don't know them or what they are, I really can't help you. One of the characters is pink, and the other is green. They are either bunnies, cats, wallabies. Wallabies may sound like a stretch, but they do sort of look like they could have come from an episode of Rocko's Modern Life (remember that Nickelodeon cartoon that was out in the 90s?).
Whatever they are, Hoops and Yoyo are featured on many hilarious Hallmark cards. They sing. They ramble. They are awesome. They're racist. That last one isn't according to me. That descriptor is courtesy of the good old NAACP. I stumbled upon this article where NAACP members have demanded Hallmark to recall the card. Much to my chagrin, Hallmark did. It's one thing to be racist, but to be accused of racism and it not be true is a whole different pill to swallow. The elder ears of the NAACP claim that Hoops and Yoyo warn the reader to beware of "ominous black whores."
Do you not see the masses of African American booty cheeks and scantily clad women in come-hither poses sprawled across the front of the card? NO? Keep looking. Still don't see it? Good, because IT'S NOT THERE! What is there and what is heard is language describing the world. (Gasp!) Could Hoops and Yoyo really be saying "black holes?" That would make too much sense in a graduation card advising recent graduates about the perils of the world.
Come on! Maybe if the NAACP members didn't look like they had what I would like to call possibly tainted elder hearing, maybe I'd be less irritated. Am I saying that all elderly people have hearing problems? No. Heaven forbid someone from the NAACP happen to read my unknown blog and hit me with a racist/ageist combo. But you'll never know, especially since it looks like they have nothing better to do.
The NAACP wants an apology. They owe Hallmark an apology! Can we actually have real racist grievances? All I'm saying is this: My fellow African-Americans, no one is going to believe us if we constantly cry wolf.
We all know how well that ended up for that poor kid. What was the moral of that story? Keep playing around like an ass, and your ass will get eaten. Personally, I'm not one for being digested. That course of action always ends with a load of (well...you know).
Wednesday, June 9, 2010
Venus Williams...pseudo nude this time
I just want to put it out there that I am not a Venus Williams hater. I just find her fashion sense...interesting. This time I was caught completely off guard as I was channel surfing. In the middle of the day, I see a tennis court and... buttcheeks? Surely, I must be mistaken. I didn't have my glasses on, so anything I saw was skeptical. After moving closer to the tv, I saw that it was none other than Venus Williams. I immediately went to Google and saw that much of the rest of the world was as baffled as I was. Yay! I wasn't seeing buttcheeks. The Huffington Post has amazing pics of her outfit.
I'll give Miss Williams this, she makes sure that she is noticed. Win or lose, there was bound to be a buzz about this outfit. You can't convince me that she hadn't considered the media buzz that would follow. Is she bold? Is she a role model? Is she an aspiring fashionista? Is she a woman with a hot body that wants to show it off whenever she gets the urge? If it's the latter, does that make her much different than any other woman? Sure, your average woman in her sexiest moment may not strut her stuff outside of her home in such an outfit. But, Venus is young, single, and very comfortable in her own skin.
I'll give Miss Williams this, she makes sure that she is noticed. Win or lose, there was bound to be a buzz about this outfit. You can't convince me that she hadn't considered the media buzz that would follow. Is she bold? Is she a role model? Is she an aspiring fashionista? Is she a woman with a hot body that wants to show it off whenever she gets the urge? If it's the latter, does that make her much different than any other woman? Sure, your average woman in her sexiest moment may not strut her stuff outside of her home in such an outfit. But, Venus is young, single, and very comfortable in her own skin.
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