Miss America...Not hurting my self-esteem

I'm not sure if this post will get me kicked out of the womanhood club. But hey, what could really happen? A renegade group of women of various physiques and complexions all decked out in pink will rip out my uterus? Unlikely. As a woman, I'm probably supposed to abhor all things that could possibly degrade women. Since a boatload of people have been trashing Miss America (which is nothing new), I guess it would only be right that I jump on the bandwagon. I'm not sure if the bandwagon or boat would be on top. All I know is that it's too crowded for me no matter how it's situated.

So what if Miss America is a former pole dancer/ dancer that used a pole/ sexy dancer with an occassional pole prop!  At least she was a champion. We all have a past. Go ahead. Say it. I'll wait. "But we're all not Miss America!" You're right. Let's be realistic though. How many of us have done less than reputable things in the past? We all may have one thing (and I'm being generous by saying one) in the past that is not reflective of our overall character.

Is Miss America supposed to be an example for young girls? Sure. Then again, aren't parents supposed to be the greatest examples for their children? So even if the Miss America Organization claims to want to empower women blah blah blah blah...but is dropping the ball in many people's opinions, let's strum up some self-empowerment?

To completely swipe a line from Kat Williams and use it somewhat out of context, "Bi*** it's called SELF-ESTEEM! It's esteem of your mothaf***** self. How am I gonna f*** up how you feel about you simple b****?"

Maybe that's the next statement the Miss America folks should come out with.

Crest 3D White Rinse

Story behind it:

Around the time I was having my toothpaste quest, I was still feeling a bit adventurous. I passed by several displays for teeth whitening strips, but they unnerve me for some reason. I have strange visions of them never coming off or dissolving my teeth when I go to remove them. Illogical, yes. But hey, that's just how I think. Maybe I've seen one too many horror movies. I may not be the only one that is unnerved by the whitening strips, because I found a whitening product that didn't immediately weird me out: Crest 3D White Rinse.

Pros:

It's not a strip!

Doesn't burn

Tastes pretty good

Doesn't take long to use

Cons:

Foamy residue

Questionable breath freshening skills

Judgement Call:

Yes, it's a whitening rinse, but it's a multi-care whitening rinse. If you smoke, don't count on this product to eliminate the nicotine odor. It comes close, but it doesn't quite do it. Crest 3D White does have one of those money-back-if-you're- not-satisfied blurbs on the back of the bottle. If you're one of those type of folks, you may find that of interest. Also, there is a foamy residue that lingers in your mouth after several spitting attempts.

Did I see whitening benefits? A little, but perhaps I should have purchased a bottle for myself and a bottle for my husband to get better results. My suggestion: buy more than one bottle if you won't be the only one using it and you'll probably get really good whitening results.

The Fat Smash Diet: Day 1

Last week I bought the audiobook of Dr. Ian K. Smith's The Fat Smash Diet. Yes, it was a while ago when I posted about wanting to lose weight. Did I do anything about it then? No, I'm not going to lie to you. What I can say is that the thought of doing it never left me. I knew I wasn't going to stick to whatever plan I concocted, so I just didn't do anything.

So what was my new motivation? I love myself. I don't have a problem with self-esteem, and my husband is my greatest supporter of all things me. However, this back fat has got to go! You can suck in your stomach, but you cannot suck in back fat. It vexes me to no end.

So, the first phase of  The Fat Smash Diet is a fruit and veggie detox. I am NOT a fan of veggies. Strangely enough, I do love broccoli. I'm supposed to eat like 4 to 5 small meals a day. I'm struggling to comprehend the idea of to differentiate a meal of fruits and veggies from a snack.

Has anyone else done this diet (or shall I say lifestyle change)? I'm about to have my first meal--strawberries.

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Colgate MaxFresh

Story behind it:

It was time again for that dreaded bimonthly adventure-shopping for groceries. I'm not sure why it's always such an overwhelming experience. It just is. My husband and I try to make it bearable by going to two different places. One of those places usually ends up being Wal-Mart, which is where we found this toothpaste.

Mouthwash and toothpaste were high up on the list this time, so how could I resist when I saw this product from Colgate? It's toothpaste with mouthwash beads. That sounds like a pretty good two-for-one. I have no problem admitting that I am cheap. I am cheap. See, I didn't even flinch when I was typing that. Not only was this toothpaste on sale, but it was also strategically located. I didn't have to maneuver through a tiny aisle with an over-sized cart to get to it.

Pros:

The "minty wave" flavor isn't horrible.

It doesn't burn (meaning it's not super hot like some toothpaste).

My breath was fresh.

Cons:

The mouthwash beads are a little weird. I'm used to beads in my skin cleansers, so I felt like I was exfoliating my tongue and gums.

Judgement Call:

Go ahead and ride the minty wave.  That was horribly cheesy, I know, but I couldn't resist. It doesn't take long to get used to the mouthwash beads. Colgate's MaxFresh does its job like any other toothpaste. Exfoliating you to fresher breath...now that's what's new, and I like it.

Olympic Curling: Too good to turn the channel

Honestly, I haven't watched much of the Olympic games. However, there is one sport that's caught my attention: curling. Now, my frustration wasn't with the sport itself. No! My frustration was that I had no idea about what was happening and why there was such intense sweeping on T.V. I watched the curling match between the U.S. and Germany women's teams. After watching for a while, curling reminded me a little of horseshoes because the team closest to the special little spot gets the points. I know, horseshoes may sound a little country or back at the barnyard, but I'm not exactly from the city. Now that I think about it, curling is probably more like shuffle board, not horseshoes. I mean, the only rules I know about the game of horseshoes are family rules. I'm sure you know how accurate they can be.

I couldn't resist. I looked up curling on Wikipedia to figure out why I was watching Olympic sweeping. It turns out that curling has been around since the 16th century. I also found a pretty nifty website, available in German and English, that gives curling basics. The best part about this curling website is that it gives animated examples.

You know what else I've found entertaining? Listening to the teams from different countries yell at the sweepers is pretty amusing. I'm learning how to say "no" in several different languages.

What I like best about curling is that it adds more diversity to the Winter Olympics. You hear Winter Olympics and you automatically think of sports with requiring skates. Now when I think of the Winter Olympics, I think of brooms. Way to go curling!

Christmas Sweaters: The epic battle of gift giving

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Associated Content is having this holiday haiku contest. If it has to do with writing and it can possibly make me money, I'm all for it. The only catch is that each contributor can only submit one haiku. I came up with two in like five minutes. I finally decided on one, but that left the other with no purpose. Seriously, what all could I possibly do with a spare holiday haiku about my disdain for Christmas sweaters?

Alas, I can put it on my blog I've been neglecting!  So without further ado, I present my holiday haiku (currently untitled):

Unsightly sweaters:

Bulky holiday themed prints

make me fear Christmas.

Think about it. Why do most people, including myself, hate Christmas sweaters? Usually, they're ugly by definition. But, what makes them ugly? They're bulky and illogical. Christmas sweaters tend to be so overly decorative that they're immediately memorable. For those of us who are forced to look at the sweater, it always seems like we just saw it. The colors and pictures typical of most holiday sweaters make them unforgettable no matter how hard we try. I  feel like people with the ugliest Christmas sweaters either wear them often or have tons of them that they wear throughout the month of December.

For sheer curiosity's sake, I googled ugly Christmas sweaters to see what all has been written about them. I was (un)fortunate enough to stumble upon a website that sells ugly sweaters.  Not only do they sell ugly Christmas sweaters, but sweaters that are generally ugly as well! At first I was irritated by the concept, but then I realized it was genius.

What better gift to give your frenemy? You can even beat grandma at her own game and get her an uglier sweater than the one she's guaranteed to give you. No matter the season or occasion, you now have  unlimited ugly sweater access. It's the best form of passive-aggressive gift giving I've ever seen.

There's a lesson to be learned. As you are doing your Christmas shopping, be ware. Not only will you most likely be shopping next to someone wearing an ugly Christmas sweater, but you could soon be the recipient of one. For your sake and the sake of the general public, here's hoping you haven't upset someone to the point that they'll soon be buying  your next ugly sweater.

Rihanna:Rated R for Ridiculous

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I loved Rihanna's last album, Good Girl Gone Bad. I played it to death. When she went through all the drama with Chris Brown, I was really upset about it. However, I had hope. I hoped that her next album would be the one to voice her triumph over pain and her struggle to bring logic into love. Rated R, her album that dropped November 23rd might not be the moment of crowning glory that it could have been.

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The album will most likely sell well. Rihanna is and has remained popular despite her ordeals. In fact, the album has already received critical acclaim. What I'm concerned about is content. There was a big stew over Rihanna needing to leave Chris Brown to be a role model for women, especially young women and girls, being abused by their partners. Am I the only one that thinks it would have been an excellent move to make an album about overcoming such hardships and making it marketable for all age groups? Rated R has the parental advisory sticker plastered on it. There goes a good deal of the young girls that could have been inspired. Why? Because they can't buy it and many parents won't buy their underage, often unemployed children albums advising parental guidance.

Despite that irritation, I still wanted to give Rated R a fair chance. Sadly, Russian Roulette killed my hopes and aspirations. I saw the video on Rihanna's official website where you can check out a few of her other videos as well, but I'm sure you can also find the video on youtube.  You know how videos are on youtube. You never know how long they're really going to be there.  After watching the video for Russian Roulette, my emotions ranged from confusion to anger, sadness to disappointment. Who advised her to do this? Maybe she had no advising.

Remember Destiny's Child (the threesome version)? Now they had a song of triumph, Survivor! Yes, the song is several years old, but it's still a good one. Why couldn't Rihanna have come out with a song with a similar victorious tone? Maybe that's why I'm disappointed. Rated R seems dark, disturbed, and like an identity crisis with a beat.

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