My 2010 Wifely Review

So how did I do as a housewife this year? Damn good if I must say so myself. I mean, I'll admit, I may be a little biased. But, for it being my first year doing this job, I think I did pretty well. Mind you, it hasn't been a full year. My husband may give a more honest opinion, but hey, he doesn't really blog.

Here's an honest critique:

Being married isn't what I expected. Working from home isn't what I expected. They've both exceeded my expectations. From the married couples I've seen, to the books I've read and the couples I've seen on TV, I really wasn't sure what to expect. Some people refer to Biblical principles (or the principles of whatever holy book they prefer) for marriage guidelines. There are just too many wives, concubines, unexplainable pregnancies and vagina substitutions for me to sift through. There are, however, some hot marriage/relationship/love one-liners in the Bible though.

What I've ended up doing is taking bits and pieces of what I know, think I know, heard, see and have seen. I try to take what I think will work best in any situation-good or less than ideal. Being malleable has proven to work wonders in marriage and work. Gold is malleable, and it is quite precious. Rigid things break. Think about it.

There is one person that has been a true asset to me, giving me years of wisdom to combat my years of inexperience-my grandma. Shout out to Mom Mom! (smile)

I'm a housewife, not a house

Today marks my third morning of dragging myself out of bed before 6am and doing my Kickboxing Workout for Dummies DVD. Three days may not sound like much to you, but it's oodles better than the long range of nothing that I was doing in a row.

That's the thing about working at home, on a computer all day-it gives me no legitimate reason to move around. If I'm moving around, it's to do something around our home (dishes, dinner, etc.) or I'm avoiding doing work. Unlike some boring jobs where you can still get paid even if you're not exactly doing anything, that doesn't happen when you're freelancing. Every minute counts. Seriously, have you ever taken a gig that pays by the minute? It's kinda stressful.

But back to the kickboxing DVD-I've had it for like 5 or so months. I break it out every once in a blue moon. I don't know what's different this time. This time, I'm actually taking it seriously. I take that back. I do know what's different. I have a goal to lose some weight (or at least tighten up) before my first wedding anniversary in May. I stumbled upon some DVDs that I want to try-Chalean Extreme actually-but I had to be realistic with myself first. I had to be realistic about what kind of shape that I am currently in. Right now, that shape is somewhere between a pear and an oval. Honestly, I'm too short for that.

There's no way I can leap into any workout that ends in extreme when I'm basically coming off of an almost fully sedentary state. I give myself about a month to be able to get through Kickboxing for Dummies. When I say get through it, I mean get through it successfully without feeling like I may need to call a medic. The DVD has 6 basic parts. Right now, I get through two of them before I start giving Keli Roberts the slanty face. I do the warm-up and "Fat Burning #1." I'll tell you this, I've noticed that as my form improves, I get more out of the workouts. It makes me feel like I'm doing something right. After a month or so, I hope to be in a little better shape so that I can start the Chalean Extreme and my fitness level (or lack thereof) not make me want to quit in the first 3 minutes.

So, why am I not a house? Simply put-I don't want to be as big as a house. I don't think I even want to be a brick house. Don't they get old and crumbly sometimes?

Productivity Flow...or and flow (gross, right?)

You may not want to hear this, but I don't really care. I am a woman, and as a woman, I have certain monthly obligations. For me, I've had this monthly obligation since I was nine years old. I am not Anne Sexton. I am not celebrating my uterus-no, not in the least. (You can find that poem here if you have no idea what I'm talking about.) What I'm actually doing is seeing how my monthly menstruation affects my productivity. Get the title? Cute, right?

If you don't know by now that I work from home, let me take this time to reiterate: I work from home. Now that you're caught up, let's move on. I recently put myself on a schedule to accommodate a few new responsibilities that I've acquired. Go me! For this schedule, I've set a certain number of tasks to do daily for each job. This way, I am constantly being productive and don't get behind in anything. This was a splendid plan until my period came on.

Today is Monday. As I was in the shower mapping out my list of things to do, I realized that I am a full day and a half behind schedule. Mind you it's only the eighth day of the month, so it's not too detrimental. The thing is, I was on schedule (even a little ahead in one area) until my period came on last week. Where did the time go? Well, most of it was spent curled up into a ball and the rest of the events that are coupled with that time of the month. The remainder of the time I was doing work...ever so slowly. Monumental Discovery: You really can't get a whole lot of work done in the fetal position!

Judging from all the Pamprin and Midol commercials, I'm not the only one whose period slows her down. All the tea, heating pads and ibuprofen in the world don't do a thing for me when 1) I feel like there's a monster trying to gnaw its way simultaneously through my stomach and back and 2) I'm convinced that I am hemorrhaging. So, I've come to a solid truth. I will fall behind at least once a month and have to make up for it the day after day 5 aka post-period day 1 aka p.p.day 1. Yes, I made those names up. You can use them or come up with your own if you would like.

How do you stay productive with Aunt Flow wreaking havoc? At this point, she has the upper hand on me. It could be worse though, I guess. I could be completely unproductive the entire five days. When I look at it like that, a day and a half isn't that bad.

I'm a housewife, not a bum.

What makes a housewife? A wife that stays at home while her husband works. What does a housewife do all day? I think that depends on the individual person. When I tell people that I work from home, I swear they equate that as being unemployed. They look at me with what I call the "slanty face." You know the slanty face when you see it. It's a sad attempt at an understanding smile with a recognizable covering of disbelief. 

I've seen that look enough times to know that what it means. It means the person doesn't really think I do anything. Try to see if you can guess where the slanty face would go in this example (but typical) conversation:

Person: Where do you work?

Me: I work from home.

Person: Oh, so what do you do all day?

In case you couldn't guess, the slanty face goes after the "oh." This usually strikes up a curse that I have to fight to keep inside. There are lots of better responses-"What kind of work does that involve?" "What does that entail?" "What types of things do you do?"

It's the "oh" that gets me. I swear it's a shortened version of "Oh, you bum." All I'm saying is let's not make assumptions, and more importantly, don't underestimate my hustle.

Love as a battlefield-is it really?

Now, you know I love T.V. I can pull a life lesson from any show I watch. I was listening to one of those music choice channels, the ones that play music but no videos, and I kept hearing song after song about battles, struggles, and wars with love. For some reason, it got on my nerves. Plus, the songs repeat after a while. Overkill!  I turned on the T.V., thinking that I could escape from the depression-inducing music, and started watching "How I  Met Your Mother" (season 5/ episode 7 "The Rough Patch" if you care). At some point in the episode Barney says, "You know what they say about relationships. Every waking moment's a battle." 


Are you kidding me?! My train of thought seemed forced in one direction at this point. Is it true? Is love really that Hellish? I know from experience that love can be awesome, blinding, premature, hurtful and overwhelming. A battle though? 

I don't expect every day of married life to be full of sunshine, ponies, and pansies. However, I don't expect to have to build a defense strategy to get through it either. I am well aware that these folk said "love" and "relationship" and not marriage. But if marriage isn't the biggest testament of a loving relationship, I don't know what is! Now if I think back to my pre-marriage/ pre-housewife days, my worst love experiences had less to do with love and more to do with a heap of other emotions gone awry. Do I think love is a battlefield? No; but I could very well be wrong. I think love is always good. I think the particular situation, people involved and extenuating circumstance can project an aura of badness upon it. Maybe the real battlefield is all of the obstacles you have to get through in order to get to love-real love.

Home Economics-an oldie but goodie

I took many random classes as a college undergraduate. My classes ranged from Alfred Hitchcock to a gods and goddesses course. Were these classes practical? No. Were they interesting? You bet! But as my years outside of the college classroom increase, I have come to realize that I may have made a mistake.

I went to Albright College. Their motto is something like "a different way of thinking." Well, they succeeded at that. The array of miscellaneous classes I took provided me with an arsenal of different thoughts. As a result, I tend to be halfway decent at random trivia games.

What class did I need? Home Economics. I see no reason why colleges don't offer home economics as an elective. I had home economics in middle school. We sewed a few things by hand and made a couple of meals. If the ability to sew on a button, repair a small hole or tear and keep from starving isn't invaluable, I don't know what is.

No matter what path you take in life, a solid home economics course could do nothing but help. You wouldn't even have to call it home economics. You could call it basic life skills. The final exam could be seeing if you can fix an entire Thanksgiving meal by yourself. Again, it's practical.

I don't proclaim to be a cook. I can, however, keep from starving. I can sew on a button or fix a small hole on an article of clothing. Now, as I was looking through the supermarket circular I was honest with myself. I have no idea how to fix a whole chicken or turkey. I know how it's done in theory, but a theory is far from a fact and nothing more than a strong maybe.

I can admit, he's a better cook.

My husband has been cooking up a storm lately, and dinner has been awesome. He comes at dinner with a whole entire plan. His preparation routine is vicious. He makes brews it over in his mind, makes phone calls...it's intense! Me? I think about dinner, let it go, search the 'net for ideas, and call my grandma. What's the difference between his tactics and mine? He has one meal in mind and follows through. Me on the other hand, I pick a meat, pick what I like from the advice, and hope it works out for the best.

This past week, I made a breaded chicken breast. Ingredients: cheese, garlic powder, bread crumbs I made from leftover buttery biscuits, and a bunch of other seasonings. It turned out pretty good. My husband made steak(w/ onions and peppers of course) w/ roux, broccoli and rice. I'd never even heard of roux before, but I won't ever forget it now!

So, why do I think my husband is a better cook? Well, because he's more methodical with his cooking. I'm more helter skelter. Yumminess tends to occur at any rate, so hey.

Chicken cooking in the oven

Finished chicken dinner

Steak in the making

Finished Steak dinner

If I were a T.V. wife

I like shows that are centered around families-not to be confused with family shows. So I was watching reruns of one of my favorite shows-That 70's show. As I watched Kitty try to solve everyones' problems with food,I came to a realization: Hey, I tend to do that. I started wondering if I were like any other T.V. wife. Have you ever done that? I don't think I am fully like one particular wife, but I do think that I have a characteristic or two from a few different ones.

Here are the ones I came up with for me and why:

Kitty (That 70's show) - for how she deals with food (not her alcoholism)

Roseanne (Roseanne) - for her constant sarcasm & willingness to do whatever she needs to do for her family...& and maybe even for her odd relationship with her mother (lol)

Carrie Heffernan (The King of Queens) - for her overall awesomeness and her stick-to-itiveness when overcoming any obstacles she and her husband face

That's just my opinion. My husband may have a different one, but I'll have to ask him.The longer I'm married, maybe the list will change. We'll see.

Sporting my new last name

I became legitimate a couple weeks ago when I got my new social security card.(They have dates on them now. Did you know?)

I took my husband's last name. It was a big decision. Taking my husband's name wasn't the big decision. I knew I was going to do that. I didn't know what to do with my last name.

When I was in college (round 1), I took several gender/ feminist courses. At one point I even thought about making that a focal point of my studies. However, I was honest with myself. I was a little too wishy-washy. While I loved the idea of women's empowerment and all that comes with it, I was secretly coveting a traditional happily-ever-after.

All of the feminist theories I'd studied came flooding back at the exact moment the woman on the opposite side of my desk asked if I wanted to keep my last name and make it my middle name. At the time, my last name was my mother's maiden name. Keeping it would maintain the matriarchal thread. Sounds awesome, right? On the other hand, getting rid of my middle name would mean shedding a name that my mother actually chose for me. If you look at it like that, your last name is pretty much thrown upon you. So, is it really all that important?

I decided to keep my middle name and shed the last name that I'd sported for over a quarter of my life. What was the deciding factor? I love my middle name. That's pretty much it.Isn't the right to choose a pivotal component of women's rights? I chose.

How do I feel? I wasn't sure how I was going to feel at first. I feel like a new person. I feel like I can reinvent myself since I have a new name. It's exciting. All at once I feel independent and brand new while closer to my husband.

Crock pot success and a gravy miracle

Once again, I decided to break out the trusty crock pot. Seriously, how many mishaps can you possibly have with one appliance? And with the toaster oven out of the way, I was sure to get it going without a hitch this time.

I didn't make chicken this time. I made a roast. I've seen my mom make roast beef hundreds of times. I figured it couldn't be that hard. She seasoned it, tossed in onions and peppers, and let it do it's thing. That's just my style! The roast turned went over without a hitch. But, of course you know there was a slight issue. I only had one jar of gravy.

What on earth do you do with an entire roast,a tiny jar of gravy, and your spouse coming home in 15 minutes? Well, here's what I did: I pouted. After that, I did the thing I know how to do best. I called my mom. She laughed and told me good luck because she only uses gravy from a jar. I obviously phoned the wrong lifeline. I called my grandmother. Of course mom-mom, as I call her, knew how to make gravy. Her explanation of how to make it was so long that by the time she got to the end I was at more of a loss than when I started. My aunt laughing in the background and yelling out "You better dig up another jar!" wasn't exactly helpful either.

With that, I went to old reliable: Google. I knew I had to use the essence from the roast, so I'd dumped that into a pan. That, however, is all I knew. A quick Google search told me the easiest possible way to make gravy:

1. Bring the essence from the meat to a boil.
2. Find a container (like a small Tupperware bowl) with a lid.
3. Put super cold water into the container.
4. Add flour.
5. Shake. Cover. Pray. (Well, the pray part is mine. I always think a dash of prayer is needed when cooking something for the first time, but it's completely optional.)

Keep in mind, I'd never made gravy before, but this seemed doable even for me. What do you think?

Case of the unsexy: Snoring

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I love the show "Reba." I started watching it a few years ago, and I catch it every now and then still. I snore. I've always known that I snore. What I didn't know was the extent of my snoring. Ah, the things you learn when married. My poor, poor husband. I woke up one morning, fresh-faced and chipper. He, unfortunately, looked disheveled and haggard.

It was at that moment that I realized I snore with a sound which I equate to a chainsaw wielding lumberjack being gargled by a grizzly bear. How unsexy is that? I was so distraught that I Googled products to reduce snoring. Of course there were mixed reviews for inexpensive and expensive products alike. So, aside from trying to fall asleep after him, I guess my sexy will be limited to the daytime.

Wife vs. Linen...Let the ironing begin!

I'll cut to the chase. I lose the linen battle. It's not a small loss. It's one of those painful defeats you like to watch between your fingers. Yeah, it's just that bad.

My husband is always on the move, so I try to do little things to help him out like iron his work clothes. If I was any good at ironing, this wouldn't be that big of a deal. I give it a good try, so he never complains. I even looked up how to iron men's dress shirts on e-how. Those guys really do let you know how to do just about anything.

At any rate, I've greatly improved at ironing dress shirts. My most recent foe: linen pants. Yes, they look dashing. But, how do you really iron these? They laugh in the face of steam. Unfortunately, e-how tells me how to iron pants in general (not linen pants). After several website fails, I stumbled upon an AskMen.com post about linen.

So, you're apparently supposed to iron linen when it's damp. There's something my intuition never would have told me. And it should be ironed not once, but twice (once on each side). Yet again, that's just not something I would've known. Let's make a rule that retailers shouldn't be able to sell linen if they're not going to tell you how to care for it. It just may increase linen sales if you're not angrily ironing the linen garment that you purchased. Who would buy lots of linen garments if they're ferociously frustrated by them?

Are there any other linen tips or tricks? Who am I kidding? I'll take any ironing tips.

Busted crock pot vs. busted logic

I’m not a cook. I can put a few things together, but I don’t have a substantial bag of tricks to pull from. If a recipe involves more than baking meat at 350 degrees or cooking vegetables on the stove top, I’m pretty much lost. I’m not an adventurous eater, so I’m not an adventurous cook by default. As with most newbie cooks, chicken is my usual default. I probably bake chicken more than your average person should.

Remember that scene from Little Miss Sunshine where the grandfather goes on a tirade about eating chicken for dinner AGAIN? Well, that’s pretty much how my husband was feeling. (Oh, and if you do click on the link, there is cursing in it--you've been warned.) He, bless his heart, wasn’t as dramatic as that. But, he did ask that I at least fry the chicken if we absolutely had to have it.

I’ve gotten better about eating large masses of fried foods since being married (since my husband typically prefers his food baked), so I was skeptical about having fried chicken for dinner. I don’t do this often, but I made two different things. I decided to fry his and bake mine.

After cleaning and frying the chicken, I put half the pack in our crock pot. It’s super hot here and I wasn’t about to turn on the oven. I returned to the crock pot 5 minutes later, and it still wasn’t hot. Was it because it was on low? I turned it up. Ten minutes later, still nothing. Maybe the socket is acting up. I moved it around.

I went back to surfing the net and realized I still didn’t smell any chicken aromas yet. Seriously; it’s a slow cooker, but come on! I yanked out the plug and shook it in frustration. That’s when I realized I’d been plugging up the toaster oven all along.

Another Minority Fail

By no means is it my intent to sound racist with what I'm about to say. Here's my question: who best can talk about a race than a member of that race? No one, I think. So, I'm going to sit on that logic and ride it for a few moments. I love greetings cards. I've even applied for jobs at greeting card companies several times (ahem-American Greetings-thanks for nothing) . My absolute two favorite types of cards are romantic cards and humorous cards. What can I say? I am an equal  fan of love and laughter.

Several times, when trying to pick out a funny card, I've chosen a card featuring the characters Hoops and Yoyo.  If you don't know them or what they are, I really can't help you. One of the characters is pink, and the other is green. They are either bunnies, cats, wallabies. Wallabies may sound like a stretch, but they do sort of look like they could have come from an episode of Rocko's Modern Life (remember that Nickelodeon cartoon that was out in the 90s?).

Whatever they are, Hoops and Yoyo are featured on many hilarious Hallmark cards. They sing. They ramble. They are awesome. They're racist. That last one isn't according to me. That descriptor is courtesy of the good old NAACP. I stumbled upon this article where NAACP members have demanded Hallmark  to recall the card. Much to my chagrin, Hallmark did. It's one thing to be racist, but to be accused of racism and it not be true is a whole different pill to swallow. The elder ears of the NAACP claim that Hoops and Yoyo warn the reader to beware of "ominous black whores."

Do you not see the masses of African American booty cheeks and scantily clad women in come-hither poses sprawled across the front of the card? NO? Keep looking. Still don't see it? Good, because IT'S NOT THERE! What is there and what is heard is language describing the world. (Gasp!) Could Hoops and Yoyo really be saying "black holes?" That would make too much sense in a graduation card advising recent graduates about the perils of the world.

Come on! Maybe if the NAACP members didn't look like they had what I would like to call possibly tainted elder hearing, maybe I'd be less irritated. Am I saying that all elderly people have hearing problems? No. Heaven forbid someone from the NAACP happen to read my unknown blog and hit me with a  racist/ageist combo. But you'll never know, especially since it looks like they have nothing better to do.

The NAACP wants an apology. They owe Hallmark an apology! Can we actually have real racist grievances? All I'm saying is this: My fellow African-Americans, no one is going to believe us if we constantly cry wolf.

We all know how well that ended up for that poor kid. What was the moral of that story? Keep playing around like an ass, and your ass will get eaten. Personally, I'm not one for being digested. That course of action always ends with a load of (well...you know).

Venus Williams...pseudo nude this time

I just want to put it out there that I am not a Venus Williams hater. I just find her fashion sense...interesting. This time I was caught completely off guard as I was channel surfing. In the middle of the day, I see a tennis court and... buttcheeks? Surely, I must be mistaken. I didn't have my glasses on, so anything I saw was skeptical. After moving closer to the tv, I saw that it was none other than Venus Williams. I immediately went to Google and saw that much of the rest of the world was as baffled as I was. Yay! I wasn't seeing buttcheeks. The Huffington Post has amazing pics of her outfit.

I'll give Miss Williams this, she makes sure that she is noticed. Win or lose, there was bound to be a buzz about this outfit. You can't convince me that she hadn't considered the media buzz that would follow. Is she bold? Is she a role model? Is she an aspiring fashionista?  Is she a woman with a hot body that wants to show it off whenever she gets the urge? If it's the latter, does that make her much different than any other woman? Sure, your average woman in her sexiest moment may not strut her stuff outside of her home in such an outfit. But, Venus is young, single, and very comfortable in her own skin.

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Why some Christians make it easy to hate all other Christians

http://christwire.org/2010/05/is-dora-the-explorer-illegal-mexican-immigrant-propaganda/

Vaseline's Moisturizing Bath Beads

Story behind it:

I wanted to take a nice relaxing bath without a bombardment of bubbles. I wanted to take a bath without being overwhelmed by the fragrance. I was pretty sure I wanted too much. Of course I found something when I wasn't looking for it. I was on my way to pick up some body lotion, and I saw Vaseline Intensive Care's Moisturizing Bath Beads. Their lotion suits me just fine, so how horrible could their other beauty products be?  Wait, do bathing products count as beauty products? Maybe that falls more under the category of health. I do apologize if I've miscategorized them, but it can't be that big of a difference. So far I've tried the Honey Vanilla and Botanical Garden.

Pros:

Inexpensive

24oz, so it lasts a while

Light fragrance

Quickly dissolves

Makes your skin feel "silky"

Cons:

Makes the tub super slippery

No bubbles (I don't mind, but maybe you bubble folks do.)

No way to close the box after opening (I've accidentally knocked it over.)

Judgement Call:

My skin is soft. I'm clean. My eyes aren't burning from a fragrance overdose. This works for me! The fragrances can't specifically be dubbed feminine, so men can take advantage of the bath beads as well. If you're on a budget, that's one less bath product you have to buy if you're sharing. Oh, yeah. Make sure you have a bath mat or those nifty little stickers at the bottom of your tub! Silky skin doesn't mean much when compared to a slip and fall!

Miss America...Not hurting my self-esteem

I'm not sure if this post will get me kicked out of the womanhood club. But hey, what could really happen? A renegade group of women of various physiques and complexions all decked out in pink will rip out my uterus? Unlikely. As a woman, I'm probably supposed to abhor all things that could possibly degrade women. Since a boatload of people have been trashing Miss America (which is nothing new), I guess it would only be right that I jump on the bandwagon. I'm not sure if the bandwagon or boat would be on top. All I know is that it's too crowded for me no matter how it's situated.

So what if Miss America is a former pole dancer/ dancer that used a pole/ sexy dancer with an occassional pole prop!  At least she was a champion. We all have a past. Go ahead. Say it. I'll wait. "But we're all not Miss America!" You're right. Let's be realistic though. How many of us have done less than reputable things in the past? We all may have one thing (and I'm being generous by saying one) in the past that is not reflective of our overall character.

Is Miss America supposed to be an example for young girls? Sure. Then again, aren't parents supposed to be the greatest examples for their children? So even if the Miss America Organization claims to want to empower women blah blah blah blah...but is dropping the ball in many people's opinions, let's strum up some self-empowerment?

To completely swipe a line from Kat Williams and use it somewhat out of context, "Bi*** it's called SELF-ESTEEM! It's esteem of your mothaf***** self. How am I gonna f*** up how you feel about you simple b****?"

Maybe that's the next statement the Miss America folks should come out with.

Crest 3D White Rinse

Story behind it:

Around the time I was having my toothpaste quest, I was still feeling a bit adventurous. I passed by several displays for teeth whitening strips, but they unnerve me for some reason. I have strange visions of them never coming off or dissolving my teeth when I go to remove them. Illogical, yes. But hey, that's just how I think. Maybe I've seen one too many horror movies. I may not be the only one that is unnerved by the whitening strips, because I found a whitening product that didn't immediately weird me out: Crest 3D White Rinse.

Pros:

It's not a strip!

Doesn't burn

Tastes pretty good

Doesn't take long to use

Cons:

Foamy residue

Questionable breath freshening skills

Judgement Call:

Yes, it's a whitening rinse, but it's a multi-care whitening rinse. If you smoke, don't count on this product to eliminate the nicotine odor. It comes close, but it doesn't quite do it. Crest 3D White does have one of those money-back-if-you're- not-satisfied blurbs on the back of the bottle. If you're one of those type of folks, you may find that of interest. Also, there is a foamy residue that lingers in your mouth after several spitting attempts.

Did I see whitening benefits? A little, but perhaps I should have purchased a bottle for myself and a bottle for my husband to get better results. My suggestion: buy more than one bottle if you won't be the only one using it and you'll probably get really good whitening results.

The Fat Smash Diet: Day 1

Last week I bought the audiobook of Dr. Ian K. Smith's The Fat Smash Diet. Yes, it was a while ago when I posted about wanting to lose weight. Did I do anything about it then? No, I'm not going to lie to you. What I can say is that the thought of doing it never left me. I knew I wasn't going to stick to whatever plan I concocted, so I just didn't do anything.

So what was my new motivation? I love myself. I don't have a problem with self-esteem, and my husband is my greatest supporter of all things me. However, this back fat has got to go! You can suck in your stomach, but you cannot suck in back fat. It vexes me to no end.

So, the first phase of  The Fat Smash Diet is a fruit and veggie detox. I am NOT a fan of veggies. Strangely enough, I do love broccoli. I'm supposed to eat like 4 to 5 small meals a day. I'm struggling to comprehend the idea of to differentiate a meal of fruits and veggies from a snack.

Has anyone else done this diet (or shall I say lifestyle change)? I'm about to have my first meal--strawberries.

[caption id="attachment_59" align="aligncenter" width="300" caption="1st meal"][/caption]

Colgate MaxFresh

Story behind it:

It was time again for that dreaded bimonthly adventure-shopping for groceries. I'm not sure why it's always such an overwhelming experience. It just is. My husband and I try to make it bearable by going to two different places. One of those places usually ends up being Wal-Mart, which is where we found this toothpaste.

Mouthwash and toothpaste were high up on the list this time, so how could I resist when I saw this product from Colgate? It's toothpaste with mouthwash beads. That sounds like a pretty good two-for-one. I have no problem admitting that I am cheap. I am cheap. See, I didn't even flinch when I was typing that. Not only was this toothpaste on sale, but it was also strategically located. I didn't have to maneuver through a tiny aisle with an over-sized cart to get to it.

Pros:

The "minty wave" flavor isn't horrible.

It doesn't burn (meaning it's not super hot like some toothpaste).

My breath was fresh.

Cons:

The mouthwash beads are a little weird. I'm used to beads in my skin cleansers, so I felt like I was exfoliating my tongue and gums.

Judgement Call:

Go ahead and ride the minty wave.  That was horribly cheesy, I know, but I couldn't resist. It doesn't take long to get used to the mouthwash beads. Colgate's MaxFresh does its job like any other toothpaste. Exfoliating you to fresher breath...now that's what's new, and I like it.

Olympic Curling: Too good to turn the channel

Honestly, I haven't watched much of the Olympic games. However, there is one sport that's caught my attention: curling. Now, my frustration wasn't with the sport itself. No! My frustration was that I had no idea about what was happening and why there was such intense sweeping on T.V. I watched the curling match between the U.S. and Germany women's teams. After watching for a while, curling reminded me a little of horseshoes because the team closest to the special little spot gets the points. I know, horseshoes may sound a little country or back at the barnyard, but I'm not exactly from the city. Now that I think about it, curling is probably more like shuffle board, not horseshoes. I mean, the only rules I know about the game of horseshoes are family rules. I'm sure you know how accurate they can be.

I couldn't resist. I looked up curling on Wikipedia to figure out why I was watching Olympic sweeping. It turns out that curling has been around since the 16th century. I also found a pretty nifty website, available in German and English, that gives curling basics. The best part about this curling website is that it gives animated examples.

You know what else I've found entertaining? Listening to the teams from different countries yell at the sweepers is pretty amusing. I'm learning how to say "no" in several different languages.

What I like best about curling is that it adds more diversity to the Winter Olympics. You hear Winter Olympics and you automatically think of sports with requiring skates. Now when I think of the Winter Olympics, I think of brooms. Way to go curling!